LEATHER WEEK 1998 - San Francisco In Three Parts: I. Before The Fair II. At The Fair III. After The Fair Our Second Anniversary It's just past noon on Monday - the day after Folsom. Life is good. All the Time - 24-7/3-6-5! The first thing we always do when we arrive home is give thanks for all our blessings and a safe journey. Yes indeed, we are truly blessed. Not only was it Folsom Street Fair yesterday, it was our anniversary too. We met at Folsom in 1996. So last night after the festivities, we went to dinner at the Bagdad Cafe and sat in the corner window and drank lemonade from each other's straws just like we did on our first evening together. After dinner, we walked up to the Pendulum bar in the Castro to sit in the same spot by the pool table where we had first talked and where the boy was 'taken'. Wonderful surprises began to happen. The men of ONYX Leather Club in Chicago began to buy us drinks - rum and coke. It was all wonderfully festive and the beautiful thing was, we discovered that everyone had had a fantastic weekend. We were truly all smiles together. Last week was a whirlwind for us. On Wednesday we did an in and out trip to San Francisco to participate in the monthly meeting of M.A.s.T. Our topic was protocol which is at the heart of our relationship. During our talk we mentioned that we were not a true SM relationship and some of the faces looked surprised. I explained that my approach as a Master was one of rewarding good behavior and ignoring the unwanted... ...if the protocol isn't there I simply don't respond until it is. In fact, what I forgot to say that's important is that I view protocol 'as' the relationship to some degree. In other words, as the Master, it is my responsibility to be in gear and in character 24/7 just as the slave is expected to be. Therefore, if the slave is in and out of character it leaves a void to be filled. Another slave who *is* in character (protocol) could slide in and replace the slave. So if you stop and think about it for a minute it quickly becomes clear that it is the slave who is in control of the situation (so long as it's Master keeps His commitment as well). The duration of the relationship is for ever and ever so long as both remain in character. It's been called 'Living in a metaphor'. And guess what? It's working for us for 831 wonderful days. Days that are vital, creative and full of good vibes. As in any successful on-going relationship, the key is honesty and trust and faith. In a Master/slave situation, it's necessary to be 'frightfully honest'. This is what we have going-on. Usually when we go to the City, we get home around 1am and it feels so-o-o good to turn in the drive and see the lights twinkling outside our coach - and our cat bobbie ross sitting either in the front window or in the road to welcome our return. Of course he's ready to eat some fresh food and crawl into bed with us - which he does at the most inappropriate moments. They 'know'; they just 'know'. It's the 'action attraction'. We’ve figured out that it takes about 12 hours apiece to get ourselves ready to travel. And it doesn’t make much difference if it’s a weekend or a month or more. Most of the same things need to be done. There’s about three hours of running around to do. Another three hours to finish up whatever projects we’re working on. Three hours to clean the house and the yard. Then, there’s the packing which has two parts: First getting it all together and secondly, making it all fit into the van so that it’s reachable. Since we eat on the road this also means we deal with our food ahead of time, making sandwiches and snacks. Needless to say, we usually over pack. But that’s OK. It means we’re prepared for whatever comes our way. And the fact that we visit such a diversity of people along the way means we get to change gear all the more often. We enjoy that too. I forgot to mention the time it takes to prepare the van or whatever vehicle we’re using. Since we drive classics and older vehicles, they require a lot of preventative maintenance which I usually do on Saturdays ahead of time. We’ve never been stranded and don’t expect to be. Most things are predictable so we nip them in the bud. Right now the weakest part is probably the fuel pump so for out next big trip which will be L.A. & Phoenix; Vegas and Reno, we’ll carry a new pump along just in case. Last week I buffed the van so it looks good for the winter. I’m working on the aluminum of our trailer to make it shine like stainless steel. This takes elbow grease plain and simple. Rub-a-dub-dub. On Friday we took off from Guerneville for Sacramento about noon. We were going to look for our new base camp on the River - somewhere where we can park our boat outside our door when we get it. When we got there we drove right to the perfect spot along the American River which joins the Sacramento in the center of the city. We found a space we liked a lot and then found the manager. Bam-damn… it turns out they’re not taking new guests because they’re getting ready to upgrade the park - which means moving in a bunch of modular on permanent foundations. And they’ll have to be up in the air - because it can flood as well. Too bad. So we asked where else we might find a home and the suggestion was to drive about fifteen miles out into the Delta to a place called Snug Harbor. We did. But it was more like 25 miles - and that place floods too. And there was no phone line for our computer. Eventually we’ll have a cell phone modem - but the cost is still prohibitive for the kind of on-line time we use. We’ll keep looking until our spot finds us. Then we’ll be able to cruise down the river, across the bay and stay on our boat when we visit the City. We called our hosts and said we’d be there for dinner in less than an hour. Matt and Byron have been together for 25 year and rodtney’s known them the whole time. They have a very nice two story home about ten years old. We got to sleep in the master bedroom with the computers. Just fine with us. Didn’t go out after dinner at all. Instead we looked at video of their recent trip up the coast of Oregon. Byron and rodtney had lots of gossip to catch up on from the days when they worked together and rodtney lived in Sacramento as well. His parents are still there. In the morning we all had a small breakfast and we took off for Oakland where our friend Richard was hosting a brunch for the ONYX Brothers from Chicago and another group of men of color from Louisiana - and us. Richard’s place is on the 9th floor of a wonderful old building overlooking Lake Meritt. It was a great gathering with lots of networking. We all disbursed for Oakland Gay Mardi Gras and then on to the Mr. Drummer Contest. We stopped only briefly at Gay Pride and then went on into the City. We strolled the Castro which is also known as doing the "fruit loop". Usually we stop for coffee at Pasqua’s which is on 18th Street just off Castro. Aside from Daddy’s bar up the street, it’s the leather hang-out - especially during the daytime. We ran into our friend Dennis who is from Manila and goes by the name of AlphaSatori. So here we are - cruising the hot bods in the afternoon sunshine and talking about matters Spiritual. I almost thought I was back in L.A. for a moment. Actually most of L.A.’s leatherfolk were in town for the weekend anyway. We had decided not to attend the Contest - which usually lasts about five hours. Instead we would take pictures during the parade of title holders on Sunday during the Fair. There were no men of color in this year’s contest finalists. Why is this? Do they not enter? Their answer is why bother? With one Mr. Drummer of color in all the years of it’s history (Graylin Thornton ’93), most men of color feel they’ll be passed over anyway. And it goes far beyond that probability as well. Drummer is sponsored by Drummer Magazine. The difference between the IML land Mr. Drummer contests is that the Drummer men must sign an agreement to do a nude, and hard, spread for the magazine during the title year. Mr. IML is chosen to represent the community and to raise funds. Mr. Drummer is chosen to build readership for the magazine. And so the winner is very likely going to look like the model most representative of the image of the publication. Some publishers argue that street sales drop if they put a man of color or a leather woman on their covers - and most also say they can’t afford to take the financial risk. But they don’t explain why GBM has outsold Bear in the past. Beyond all of this, it is being said in some circles that the title holder system is on the way out. Personally I’d rather see some very sincere and hard working Ambassadors of Leather rather than what we have now. You can’t really say they’re beauty contests because even though it’s all in the eye of the beholder, the handsome ones don’t always win either. And while I’m at it I might as well go the whole way with this discussion and ask why most contestants usually flag ‘Top’ on stage while being otherwise off-stage? Let’s hear it for authenticity. Now that that discussion is out of the way we’ll continue our weekend. About 5:30 we took off for another old friend of rodtney’s home out in the Hunter Point area near Candlestick Park. rodt has known her for years and we had recently attended her daughter’s college graduation and husband’s 50th birthday celebration in Golden Gate Park. We sat and chat-ed and made hors d’oeuveres before going out to a local theater to see an art show and performance piece by an actress from L.A. It was pretty much a self indulgent monologue about her failed career and all the directors who had rejected her over the years. But I enjoyed it because it took me back to my theater days in L.A. years ago. There are 55,000 actors out of work in L.A. at any given time and most of them have no identity other than their last part which they keep replaying over and over until the next one comes. It may or may not. What they say there is that you’re as good as your last job. And that philosophy spreads out into the general population who is forever reinventing itself in it’s own image. Art imitating art makes for a very hybrid, very transient, very image conscious culture. Don’t you sometimes wonder, "Where are they now?" Many of the really successful don’t even live in L.A. They commute. Back at the house we do dinner together. Greg comes in from working late setting up a fine art show at Fort Mason. Time goes fast and I refused to look at the clock when we went to bed. We could have gone out to spend some time with our friend Michelle who is from L.A. but in town from her job outside Reno where she is the leather dungeon dominatiix for a brothel. We also would have liked to go to the 15 Association Play Party but we simply didn’t want to stay out all night. Better to rest and feel good for the big day. This is what happens when you’re in ‘domestic bliss’, I guess. Anyway, no regrets. In the morning we’re up, feeding the birds in the back yard and dressing for brunch not far away at our landlord and friend’s home in Portrero Hill. We arrive just in time. Lots of Bears, lots of Leather Bears, lots of food - all nice people. I set up a slide show on the laptop of last year’s event for all to see. Outside in the garden it’s drizzling. This is the first day it has rained on Folsom in 15 years. We simply call it "Leather Weather". Plus, it feels like San Francisco is supposed to feel. And hey, there’s always a chance that the sun would come out. It did - but only for a quick minute. We just got wet, changed gear and went back out.