Sunday evening; November 1st, 1998 Sun in Scorpio; Moon in Pisces Perfect completion. Dear Friends, My mother passed last night at 8pm in Michigan. My lovely lovely neice was with her in the hospital where she'd been for only three days. The rest of the family had been sitting vigil where the Osteopaths were treating her for a comfortable transition. I spoke with her on the phone at bedside Thursday afternoon - two days before... She said, "They were supposed to get me straightened around in three days but I don't think so... I'm not feeling too good." She suffered congestive heart failure. Naomi Todd was born November 14th 1900 in Mansfield, Ohio. Her death ends her generation in the family. She was the only sister of seven brothers. Her family were the founders of Akron and Tiffin Ohio and her father donated land deeded to him by President Madison, for the John Todd Park in Mansfield. Her mother was Katherine Bishop who was a pianist and music teacher. Naomi married Wilfrid Michael Twichel on August 12th, 1927. Their marriage was interruped in 1971 with the passing of her husband at the age of 67. They had three children, (suppressed), who survive her. She had seven grandchildren. All live in Michigan except her first born who has lived in California since 1961. Mrs. Twichel retired from teaching at 65 and has lived in an attached cottage at the home of her youner son since 1980. Prior to that she live in her home in Pontiac since 1948. She drove her own car until age 97. Her favorite activities were playing bridge at a nearby senior center; reading and watching "Who Done It's" and doing crossword puzzles. And being information central for the entire family of course. She took weekly rides aroung the back roads to enjoy the seasons with a stop-off for a meal. She never missed a Tuesday at the beauty shop. Naomi truly grew old gracefully. Mother has requested no funeral and cremation. Later this week her ashes will be released by the younger children and a granddaughter who will represent the elder, at a gravesite next to her husband on a hillside overlooking the Michigan countryside to the west. Attached is my story of release which I wrote two days before her death. I am truly blessed to have the companionship of my life-partner Rodney who intuitively and silently has sensed and provided exactly the right support. He too visited my mom during our two trips to Michigan this last year. More has been written on these 'visits' and are available on private request. I am so glad you and I share the history of being in her company together. In release; with love and blessings, "SON" Evening; Thursday, October 29th, 1998 One week ‘til mid-fall; sixteen days before Mother’s 98th birthday. [Background music, "Jesus, Joy of Mans Desiring"] I spoke with my moms on the phone yesterday - about the baking I was doing. She immediately said, "Are you making apple sauce?" I said, "You’re psychic" I was indeed - an apple pie too. The day before I had called her and asked some simple question about cooking and it was as if we were there in the kitchen together fifty years ago. Her days have been up and down for awhile - but she nearly always perks up when I call - she always has. I remember Christmas time 1961 when I drove in from California in a blizzard in my ’53 Volkswagen. It was my first trip home after moving to California the winter before. Moms was in bed - not feeling well; in retrospect, depressed maybe. But 10 minutes after I greeted her in the bedroom, she was up cooking. I don’t remember the details; but it was a good visit with all the family there. When we were leaving her place this past June, her parting remark was: "It’s been a good visit, son" And I said, ‘Yes, it has’. We were there twice this trip - on our way into town; and on our way out. Both times we had fun. We cooked and talked and took pictures. I gave her a massage on Friday - and on Monday we spent the afternoon looking at the family archive photo collection I had brought along. Some of the pictures she had never seen. They were part of Aunt Phyllis’ collection. Eventually I’ll get them all scanned and identified on-line for the family to enjoy. In reality it’s probably a five year project. We talked the other day about (as we have talked every few days for years), all the modern appliances in her life: The microwave, the cell phone, the pager and the coffee-maker. She had lived from having no public utilities to a push-button life. I remember too - the life on our farm with no electricity or running water. Dad and I wired the house and installed a gasoline generator in the basement. Then we refinished all the hard wood floors together. One day somebody left your sister's rubber toy in the oven of the wood burning stove in the kitchen. We talked the other day about how it melted and filled the kitchen with smoke - and taking our baths in a big copper tub in the woodshed off the kitchen where the pigs came up through the floor and ate all the apples. Mom kept house, took care of her three kids while Dad ran the Neon sign shop in Mansfield which eventually got flooded out. But not before I learned to bend tubing and wire the signs. I walked a mile down a dirt road to the school bus and rode an hour into Belleville to school. Mom found my rain coat (I hated it) hanging in the tool shed down the lane - she always ‘knew’, as mom’s should, everything that was up with me. Only way later in life would I find out how she did this. She would ask, "who were you with last night?" - and I might lie of evade - and she would say, "It was Timmy, wasn’t it!" And I was caught. Ya know what it was? Moms could smell like no other human. She knew the smell of my friends when I’d been near them. I rode in the trailer behind the corn picker and ‘helped’ thrash the alph- alpha on the 40 acres across the road. When all the Todd cousins came up on the weekend, we all played in the straw stack behind the barn. Dad offered $25. to anyone who could catch the wild pig running lose. No one did; but one Sunday afternoon, he came running down from upstairs; threw his glasses down; and dashed across the yard in front of a dozen or so relatives and tackled the pig. It was one of those family moments to remember. And I ended up raising the pigs. (the money I saved got me started in college.) When we moved to Pontiac, Dad made five trips with the old ’41 Chevy and the box trailer that Todd still has, with 6 foot racks on it - back and forth from the farm, while mom "held the fort" and worried as she was want to do.. Nonetheless, it was a wholesome time for us all. Moms kept the family together through thick and thin. She set the mark for both hero and heroin in my life. Right beside Eleanor Roosevelt and Margaret Meade. In many ways for me, it’s been the women in the family who filled the traditional male role model. Naomi had her own beauty shop and pre-school businesses. And getting the family under way after ten years of marriage, she went back to college for her Masters in early elementary education. This made her the mainstay of the family financially for many years while her husband reclaimed his life from alcoholism. The hard life took it’s toll on him, and after 40 years of marriage, she lived another 27 years as his widow. The depression and two world wars made a significant impact on mother’s life. Her three children came at age 37, 40, and 44. They are all well and successful. No one went to war. No one is in jail or the hospital and her five grandchildren and seven great grandchildren have her wonderful love to remember. Mother never ran out of stories to tell about her family. She was forever reciting poetry. She loved classical music and crosswords and ‘Who done it’s’. I remember playing two-on basketball off the garage on Ann Arbor Street when she came down the back porch steps. I threw her the ball and she sunk a three pointer - just like that. Mom actually had a lifetime certificate in physical ed. teaching from Kalamazoo Normal College where I went when it became Kalamazoo State College; which changed it’s name to University where grand daughter now attends. She could dance too. Ya know the swing dance revival that’s been sweeping the country this year? Well she and "Bud" won street dance competitions the first time around for these tunes. Mom is in the hospital tonight - resting as comfortably as is possible for an old woman whose body, and in particular, whose heart, is ending. The principal thing on everyone’s mind right now, including hers, is just being comfortable. No complexities or complex interventions - the clock is running down and there’s no simple way to wind it up again. The decision to wake or rest is between she and Spirit. It’s fall. Indeed we each feel it, not only in the air - but in our bodies too. Naomi Katherine Todd Twichel has had a lovely Autumn in her life these past, almost 20 years since she retired to the safe, secure, warm and cozy apartment in the country beside her ever mindful son, Todd. We all owe him much; because were it not for him; our matriarch may well been shuffled hither and yon at the very time when home becomes precious beyond measure. Naomi will keep on going as she kept on going: Strong: She experienced knee surgery; foot surgery - eye lens implants - twice. And she survived her entire family. I asked her what the secret was. She always said, "Good genes". I guess she’s right ‘cause here we all are - healthy and spunky. (breath) And she kept all her teeth too. Mom’s drove her own car until she was 97 years old. She loved to ride and she transferred that love to us all. Riding together - especially on Sunday afternoons was our major family tradition along with the holidays. When one kid had a birthday; everyone got presents. We all have our equally special relationship to cherish with her. She suffered a single fender-bender only recently in eighty years of driving. Understandable. Her teachers were her seven brothers, one of whom simply set her up on a motorcycle and sent her merrily down the street. "Well why not? I trusted them," she would say. And that’s pretty much how she faced life. When she found out her first born son was gay she simply announced, "Well, I don’t see what all the trouble is about." And that was that. Another word was never said. Which is not to say she didn’t have opinions. Oh my, did she. She said what she thought. And that was that, too. She has always allowed us to do what we have to do - and be there when we learned the hard way - to forgive and forget. "That’s life, I guess", she’d say. It’s kinda hard right now, I’ve got a lump in my throat - and a tear in my eye. We think we’re ready for the inevitable - but we simply do not know until things actually happen. We just put things off as long as we can sometimes. There is no substitute for mourning - for grieving and for expressing the anger that is part of that process. How selfish it would be to think that we should die first to avoid the pain - pain that she now leaves us prepared to accept and release. Take a deep breath and watch her spirit blow away with the yard birds that she loved so dearly to watch. Mom gave us all time to spend with her and make our peace with her. We are so blessed to have had her with us throughout our adult lives. We will now quickly spread her ashes, as is her wish, amongst the wildflowers who knew her so well. When you see the pastel colors in the spring - especially the blue and off white, think of each one as being nurtured by her sweet soul. Mom’s loved us all equally and specially and she told us so. Look at me talking in the past tense. Mothers and sons know - they just know. It’s time to go now. Good bye mom. They say no man is free until his mom passes. We’ll see. One thing we do know for sure; Naomi is free - truly free. She will remain with each of us as an inspiration for ever and ever. And so it is, Ah Men, Ah Men. (name suppressed) Twichel - Age 60. First born - son. Carol Burnette "And it’s time for me to say,,, so long". Fade to Peace.